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Thursday, April 6, 2000
The Saga of Oboo
"Alas, poor Oboo! I knew him, Lojki: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!"
- Strako Seale, Minister of Understanding and Knowledge
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Prologue:
It had been some time since any of us had seen Oboo: so long, we had given him up for dead, a causality of the war that was wearing down all of our spirits. One day, Oboo told his fellow Bears that he had some business to attend to, and walked into Blackburrow, fearless as ever, and only the Tribunal can truthfully say where he went.
Several moons ago, field Lieutenant Twowolves heard a buzzing about the Everfrost Tundra, that a Barbarian bearing the name of Oboo was walking, unaided, from Highhold Pass back to Everfrost, and people were saying that this was the man called Oboo. Twowolves, uncertain how to proceed, doubting this man's identity, spoke to his elders, who decided to look into the situation personally.
By the time the man returned to Halas, he had a crowd gathered around him, speaking of the second coming of Oboo. Strako and Lojki, standing side-by-side at the ramp leading down from Blackburrow, greeted the man, who they believed to be a mere charlatan, only to discover that it was, in fact, the same Oboo with whom they had fought wooly spiderlings as Barbarian toddlers, except Oboo was now aged well beyond his years. His grizzled and unshaven cheeks bespoke years of understanding gained from fighting toe-to-toe with gnolls, Humans, and anyone else who would not listen to his message of equality. The three embraced, and retreated to a McQuaid's Dark Stout in Halas to speak about Oboo's travels.
"I have returned," said Oboo, "not to wage war on Humans or Elves. I have not returned to lead our cause, as my recent experiences in our underground movement have jaded me to the ways of the world. In the eternal words of the Coup, 'I'm getting hustled only knowing half the game.' How can we defeat our enemies, when they create the very rules within which we fight? Play nice policy? I guarantee you, that was not a policy formed by our kind. I mean, have you ever noticed that you can't buy anything but swords, cigars, and brew in Halas? That's because He doesn't want us reading books, educating ourselves, becoming a more enlightened people ..."
"Then why, friend," asked Lojki, looking deep into his O’Tumjin’s Fierce Ale, "why have you returned? Have you come back only to tell us that you are giving up the fight? What has happened to you out in that vast, cold world?"
"I have returned," said Oboo, "to find myself again. I have become lost in the struggle. I must give up all of my worldly possessions and go out to the tundra that I once called home, a tundra that is now foreign to me, and discover why this struggle began, and what one Barbarian can do in the face of an entire world of injustice."
With that, Oboo removed his tattered gorget, his rawhide boots, and his bear hat, laying them on the table. "Give these," he said, "to a worthy Barbarian. One who can fight for the cause in a way that I no longer can. Brothers, I am sorry. I have disappointed you all, I cannot serve as Minister of FINE Arts any more, as I have lost my funk. I will return when I am at peace with myself." With that, he handed his armor to his old friend Maccoloch, opened the door to the tavern, and stepped out into the cold.
Part I: The Vision
Oboo returned to Halas, bent and shivering from the swirling blizzard outside. The glow of the campfires at the cave entrance filled his body with warmth and energy for the first time in weeks. He ate wordlessly and ravenously, because though his soul was full, his belly was achingly empty. After a time, he turned to his life-long friend Strako and spoke.
"I had a vision," he began.
"I saw everyone, Barbarians, Erudites, Dark Elves, and all the others, expressing themselves not through violence, but through words of peace. Through a dialogue of understanding. In this vision, the world of Norrath was a place where everyone was free to speak their mind and everyone else listened. It was as simple as that. An Ogre Shadowknight could walk up to a High Elf Paladin and simply say 'I disagree with you, sir,' and they'd sit to discuss their differences and come to an understanding."
"Our world of Norrath, in reality, may not be like that vision, but I believe we, The Bears of Oboo, have been called to bring about such revolutionary change to allow such a world to exist. I won't waste time here, I know what I have to do."
Leaving Strako pondering his statement, Oboo set out in the storm, driven by the determination to begin his mission. He trudged through the deep snow, never pausing until he reached the hills of Qeynos, where he stopped to engage a gnoll in a discussion about religion. The gnoll, surprisingly, was very open and receptive to the new approach, and Humans and Barbarians alike stopped in their tracks and stared at the two enemies speaking. "What is the [funk] that you speak of?" asked Oboo, whereupon he was treated to a lengthy educational speech on the nature of the complex gnoll religion of funkology. He left Qeynos Hills, pondering the words of the gnoll guard, his mind filled with hope about all that he could accomplish with the cooperation and understanding of Humans, who he thought could not be more rigid and inflexible than the gnolls themselves.
Nonetheless, as he approached the gates of the city, he steeled his nerves for the confrontation he knew was about to take place. He knew this was something that had to be done, no matter what the outcome.
Oboo approached the guard at the Qeynos gate and opened his mouth to speak.
 "Move along you filthy barbarian scum. We tolerate your presence in this city, butonly because the magistrate tells us to," said Guard Hezlan.
"I disagree with you, sir," Oboo responded, "Let's sit down and discuss why you don't like me and my people. I'm sure, deep down, we can find a lot of things in common."
"What!?!? I said move it, scum! We don't allow your kind to block the gates of this city," shouted Guard Hezlan, putting his hand on the hilt of his sword.
"I merely wish to express myself by standing here at the gate and talking out our differences, peacefully, like rational adults," Oboo calmly said.
Guard Hezlan, with Guard Gehnus behind him, drew his sword, shouting, "I'll express myself by putting a blade in your head!"
With a coldly calculated swing, Guard Hezlan sliced deep into the gut of the unarmed Oboo, who collapsed in a heap, spilling his lifeblood on the steps of the city.
 Oboo died moments later, without another word.
"Soldier! Put away that blade and report to your barracks. There will be an inquiry on what just happened here. But clean up those steps first. We can't have that barbarian's blood getting tracked into the city now."
At the same time, several miles away in the peace of Halas, in the warmth of Dok's Cigars, Strako, Lojki, and the other officers of the Bears of Oboo were sitting, talking about Oboo's declaration and what it meant for the future of their people, the future of all people. The minds of all of the officers, and all of the guild members around them, were abuzz with the potential for an end to this long war, which had shown minor advances for Barbarians, Erudites, Trolls, Ogres, and Dark Elves, but had also taken their toll on all of them. That is when word of Oboo's discussion with the gnoll got back to them.
Though they had been initially wary of Oboo's announcement, the news of the gnoll and Oboo inspired them to believe in Oboo's vision. As a group, the Bears of Oboo walked through Halas, rounding up all interested Barbarians, and made their way toward Qeynos to show their support of Oboo and his new peaceful ways. On their way, the Bears of Oboo picked up Erudites, Trolls, Dark Elves, and Ogres who were battling in Blackburrow and Qeynos Hills, all of whom wanted to discuss with Antonius Bayle's men the past, the present, and their hopeful vision of the future.
When they reached the gates, however, they were frozen in horror. There, on the ground before them, lay their Brother, one of the founders of the movement, a man who had given up everything to fight the good fight. Oboo was covered in blood, and Guards Hezlan and Gehnus were running about, mindlessly killing bats and snakes, and ignoring the corpse of that noble Barbarian.
Part II: The Reaction
"Oh, the humanity!" cried the Bears, who were now joined by the Reach of Oboo, their brothers and sisters from across the continent. "Tribunal, why hast thou forsaken us? What have we done to deserve this?" they asked.
Strako, wiping tears from his eyes, stepped up in front of the gathered masses and began to speak.
"Brother, Sisters," he said. "Brothers and Sisters!" he said, raising his voice. "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a Brother, of a hero, of a Barbarian without equal.
"We all know that Oboo means 'he who stands tall amidst scrawny gnoll trains.' Oboo lived above and beyond his name, standing tall amidst the oppression and injustice of the world, and seeking to speak to Humans as if they were capable of reason, of compassion, of understanding!
"Oboo lived proudly and died with honor. The only mistake he made was giving the Man the opportunity to strike first. We understand his dream of peace, brothers and sisters, we understand. We want the same thing, and I'm sure no one would argue with that. What better than a peaceful world for our children? Nothing, I say, nothing is better than that. But we must also recognize the facts.
"The facts are that we live in a world where criminals are not brought to justice, but elevated to near-godly status. We live in a world where Humans pipe in liquor to our streets, make us speak their tongue, and refuse to serve us in their stores. We live in a world where the Man feels it is acceptable to treat us as second-class citizens, to charge us higher rates for the same goods, to refuse service to loyal, paying customers.
"Oboo was a peaceful, kind man, who had a vision filled with compassion and who lived his life for others, even when he himself could not eat. There was no shame in his death. Oboo died for a cause. The shame would be to allow his death to go unnoticed, unpunished. We must demand that his murderers are brought to justice! For Oboo!"
"Oboo! Oboo!" chanted the crowd. Vyvyd stepped up to the front of the crowd of Barbarians, Erudites, Dark Elves, and began chanting, "We want justice! We want it now!" which was quickly replaced with a more traditional Oboo chant, "We want the funk! Gotta have that funk!"
Suddenly, an elf, whose skin was bluer than the days when the ocean fell through the sky, stepped forward. Her name was Xixx, and the Bears knew her to be a little blue devil filled with an inordinate dose of the funk. Her striking beauty caused all present to suddenly hush. She raised her arms and began to speak:
"We are at a crossroads, Brothers and Sisters," said Xixx. "Our destiny, the destinies of our races are before us. What will we do? Will we continue to stay separate, to allow boundaries drawn up by Antonius Bayle himself to keep us apart. It is time for us to band together against a common enemy, and teach Humanity the meaning of Justice."
A great cheer went up through the crowd gathered at the gates of Qeynos and, when word spread, throughout the lands of Norrath. The Bears of Oboo were one again!
Part III: The Kangaroo Court
The crowd continued to grow until Corporal Lancot himself stepped forward and addressed the crowd.
"This matter has been brought to our attention at the Office of the People," said Corporal Lancelot. "We are looking into the matter right now. If you have objections to the manner and method in which we handle the situation, you may find the appropriate forms in a chest in the Ocean of Tears. Please fill the forms out, in triplicate, have them authenticated by Lady Vox, and drop them off in my office by noon tomorrow. Now, please go home."
 The trial that was to take place divided Norrath. The guards of Qeynos leaked Oboo's troubled past to the media, riots broke out across the face of Norrath, and claims of corruption were rampant. In particular, the selection of jurors, all of whom were Human and nine of whose last names were "Bayle," angered many pro-Oboo activists. Many leading members of the Bears of Oboo retreated underground, and would speak only through newbie second characters out of fear for their safety.
The murder trial is scheduled to finish up Saturday evening at the Qeynos courthouse, and the rally will be held to coincide with the jury deliberations. The Bears of Oboo, a guild made up of barbarians and erudites, and the Reach of Oboo, a guild made up of Dark Elves, Ogres and Trolls, have decided to merge and join forces and voices in this rally for justice.
We are calling all members of the oppressed races of Norrath to join us in our protest rally. This trial is not about the murder of one martyr, it is about equality and freedom throughout the land.
Join us at 6:00 pm EDT in Qeynos Hills and let your voice be heard. We will not accept anything less than justice.
Strako, Toboo, Lojki, and Xixx
Ministry of the Bears of Oboo
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